Saturday the 23 rd of May meant two things, it was the Bank Holiday weekend but more importantly it was show day, and Sword and Lance is one of the only few shows that is on a Saturday. They decided to host the show slightly later than last year which was on the 12th of April. We arrived for set up at the usual venue which was the old Darlington Football stadium, now Rugby & 80’s pop/rock has-been venue, as everyone who sang in the 80s seems to now play here. Arriving around 0815, as for some reason the show was due to start at 0900 which was also unusual, we cracked on with the usual military precision that is set up. The club, as always, had some fantastic models on the table, ranging from Warhammer 40k to Terry’s own arm of the Kriegsmarine. We were finally good and ready for the show to begin. There was a good mix of traders present with kits, figures, flat and 3D, paints and with a couple of these traders braving the downhill journey from Scotland. The show was reasonable supported trade wise. There was also the usual food vendor on the 1st floor, where pretty much every member of the club had succumbed to either bacon or a tasty sausage. Even the tape worm was satisfied. However, with a warm day, the teas and coffees were selling so fast that at around lunchtime, there were no more cups, talk about more tea (cups) Vicar.
The show was a little quiet with a few clubs deciding to commit the cardinal model club sin of not turning up! Which is a shame for the public as they’ve paid to come to the show. The weather was glorious all day which meant that a lot of punters probably decided to go to the beer garden rather than the show. Lunchtime was soon upon us and sadly our yearly tradition of picking a lovely VIP box for lunch could not continue this year due to some security savvy individual locking them all. Undeterred a few of us still found the comfy seats out on the terrace where we were able to enjoy lunch in the sun whilst watching the grass grow on the pitch.
The competition was a busy room with what seemed a constant queue of people waiting to book their models in going on all morning and right up until it was time to judge. Once judging had finished it was time to see who the winners and losers were. Thankfully, Martyn returned to winning form as he came away with a gold for his chimney diorama, so tantrums were avoided. Paul decided to enter his first competition and came away with 3 silvers for his Land Speeder, Legion Praetor and a Mk4 Dreadnought. Bronzes went to Gav for what can only be described as a Rat diorama, Graham for his P-47 and Mark for his Red Sonja and Mechanicum Krios. Unfortunately, Martyn’s losing streak seems to have transferred to The Boss who scored a resounding Eurovision style “Nil Point!”
The star of the show has to have been Andy W for several reasons. Firstly, his bin throwing skills were severely lacking, as he missed a simple 2 point shot with his empty Pepsi can into the bin. We can clearly take two things from this Firstly, do not stand next to him in the urinals and secondly, he clearly can’t apply his marksmanship principles, so you don’t want him in your foxhole. Unfortunately, he also took more flak than the RAF over Berlin…
Due to the small nature of the show, you could walk around it no time at all. Therefore, on lap 27 of the show, Andy declared that he had a tank named after him. Of course, the real answer is the M41 Walker Bulldog. Yet when he exclaimed that he had a tank named after him both, Martyn, and Terry exclaimed at the same time: “What, W****r?” Poor Andy!
By 1500 most had made their excuses and slipped out the back door in order to go and watch some football team make history by being knocked out of the semi-final and final in one season, therefore our congratulations go to Middlesbrough FC, well done lads for not getting promoted by default! With the show winding down, the awards ceremony took place slightly earlier and ran very smoothly compared to the 36-hour ceremony suffered at another show the previous year. (Don’t worry IPMS Wakefield, we’ll keep your Leeds show anonymous!). With the prize giving done, it was time to breakdown and with Squadron Leader Dave having to shoot off early, it was down to the rest of us mortals to try and figure out how the stands went into the bags without the usual clear guidance. Were we successful? You’ll have to wait until the Northern show to find out!
All in all, it was a nice local show for us, only half an hour from most people’s homes so we are more than happy to support it. Finger’s crossed next year will see the return of good footfall. See you in 2027, Sword and Lance.
