Two weeks on from Telford and it’s time to write a blog post. Last year it was noted that the show seemed to be returning to pre Covid/Brexit levels. This year, I can confirm that that target has been reached and surpassed. More space was needed, so the competition was moved to a separate room. Attendance was up on previous years and more traders were in evidence. It must have been pretty good as the doom-mongers and naysayers were absent on Fakebook. Only one or two negative comments amongst the many positive ones. There’ll always be one or two that will whinge for the sake of whinging.
Now the boring bit is over let’s get on with the interesting stuff like what shenanigans happened over the weekend. As last year the convoy included a minibus, a van, a car for those that couldn’t fit into the minibus but could have fitted in due to vehicle changes, a high-speed pursuit vehicle containing 2 bodyguards(the aforementioned vehicle change), a AAA powered whispering stealth wagon, and Mick and Mary in the Boro FC Chuggaboom.
Once loaded we were all due to rendezvous at the traditional first waypoint, otherwise known as Woodhall services. We were the last to arrive as we decided that there was no rush as entry to Telford for setup wouldn’t be happening until 4.00pm. The others though were all heading out the door as we arrived, desperate to get to Telford for “The Bargains.” All that is except Gav who, due to the lack of seating decided to sit in the kiddies play area. Not only was the chair pretty low down for a 50+ year old man, but it was also a little on the narrow side. Gav did manage to stand up but it took the four of us plus copious amounts of Burger King grease to pry him loose from the chair. Once freed from his low-profile body conforming plastic girdle Gav sat on an adult chair while we tucked into lunch.
Back on the road, we were Cosford bound with Gav following close behind in case of battery failure. During this leg of the journey, Chris recruited 2 of his passengers to bid on Gundam kits in the Veteranus auction. Pete and I held off in true sniper fashion to the last possible minute and snatched the 2 kits out from under the nose of another interested gunpla addict who wasn’t impressed by our sniping skills. Back to sniper school for him.
Once at Cosford the others had already arrived and suddenly realised that they had several hours to kill before the aforementioned 4.00pm entry. Not 3.00pm as some had thought. RTFM guys. Chris and I headed off to do some promised filming for Remembrance Weekend. Chris’s workmates had prepared a series of questions to ask me while Chris videoed it on his phone. Chris brought along a selfie stick to help with the filming but didn’t know how to use it. Remember the 6 Ps Chris, Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance! As is usual when asking questions of RAF personnel, a large portion of the questions were pilot orientated, so they were redacted because not everyone in the RAF is a pilot! Once completed the videos were sent to be edited and uploaded to Click Through Digital’s Facebook page.
Once at Telford, Marty and his 2 miniature bodyguards headed off to sort out the accommodation. This year we were booked into a Travelodge that was right outside the front door of the Centre. We could literally fall out the door and roll down the hill into the centre, assuming the doors were open of course. Once set up we found Marty and the room keys in a nearby bar, still being protected by his Rottweiler like bodyguards, and headed off to the rooms. A quick shower and change and it was off to Weatherspoon’s for some much-needed refreshment and cheap food.
It seems that one individual indulged in a little too much refreshment and after leaving Terry and Barney’s room at 4.00 in the morning Jack completely forgot what room he was in. His first idea was to wander the floors trying his electronic key card against every door. A not unreasonable course of action. However, in his drunken state he obviously missed the beep when he reached his door. Next, he decided to try the comfy looking stool down in reception, but the receptionist did not feel comfortable with having a slumbering bear-like creature in her reception. So, he was ordered to find somewhere else to rest his bones and finally decided the best place was in a corridor under the “Do not disturb” sign. This is where Gav found him the next morning when heading out for his cup of coffee. Gav was unsure whether he had been chucked out of his room due to a disagreement, dead or suffering some emotional trauma. Whatever the outcome Gav did not do what any modern-day individual would do; whip out his phone and photograph/video the situation. Massive failure on Gav’s part. Awakening suddenly from his short hibernation Jack was returned to his room where he quickly showered and changed and looked none the worse for his drunken/sleepless ordeal, much to Pete and Andy’s disgust.
Into the show, after a quick stop at Costa for a sausage bun and coffee it was time to wander the bulging halls. Plenty of traders offering tempting morsels of plastic and other modelling related paraphernalia. Chris quickly found himself being tempted as there was more Gundam models than in all the previous years put together. As well as several traders from the far east, Jadlam had brought a fair pile of Gundams which Chris quickly reduced by at least half! As well as all these traders, there was a Gundam build area which offered a free kit as long as you made a start. Even I had a go at building one, though I was held at gun point….
First day over we made the short trip back to the hotel with our goodies and then off to Weatherspoon’s for a second night of cheap beer and food. This was the night that Terry and Pete decided to enter into a “who can wear the gayest shirt” competition. Difficult to say who actually won so Pete tried to edge it with a Dale Winton impression, but he was up against some stiff competition with Terry’s magnificently waxed moustache. In the end we decided to call it a draw and declare both of them gay icons.
After the first night madness most people decided to retire early. Even Jack made it to his own bed this time. Chris however was probably wishing he was in a different room or was possibly contemplating sleeping on the stairs like Jack, as he had to endure another night of strange noises coming from his sleeping roommates. I thought I was relatively quiet compared to Andy Hardy, who to me sounded like a sperm whale or a pod of porpoises playing echo location games off the North Sea coast. But according to Chris, I sounded like a high-performance sports car changing gear. Better than a sperm whale in my opinion. Needless to say Chris has invested in some noise cancelling headphones for next year (Ed – Or a room to myself!).
Next day it was back into the show to find those bargains that had eluded us on the first day, or to finally give in and pay full price for something we didn’t really need. One thing Hughie could have done with is some lessons in how electricity works. Alan related to us how Hughie offered to make a cup of tea the previous night after returning to the room. After filling up the kettle, Hughie placed it on the worktop and sat down and waited patiently for it to boil. After 10 mins of no activity and a still stone-cold kettle, Alan decided that it would work a lot better if it was placed back on it’s base so it could use electricity to reach boiling point rather than waiting for it to boil by the power of thought.
As the day wore on, the pile of kits at Jadlam got ever smaller and the pile of acquisitions behind the stand got ever bigger. On a final tour of the halls Jaymes(not proper spelling) and Martyn, known to all as the Crowther twins, were spotted pretending to be fully engrossed in their phones, whilst obviously secretly communicating by twin telepathy. A great try guys but you’re not fooling anyone.
The end of the day came ever closer and at the stroke of four, pack up began. With all involved we were packed up, dismantled, loaded and on the road by 4.28. Beating the previous world record by a full 10 minutes. The usual stop at Woodhall on the way home and everyone made it home safe and sound. A great weekend and already looking forward to next year where it is hoped that it will finally surpass previous shows.
