Well, it’s been a week since Scale ModelWorld 2023 held at the Telford International Centre and the dust has settled since our return. The usual whinges have ensued on Facebook by the doom-mongers and naysayers but, I have to say it was a great show and showed signs of returning to pre-pandemic levels in terms of attendance and experience. It seemed to be busier than last year so attendance must have been up. Competition entries were also up, including European entries. And it was great to see the return of old favourites such as Eduard along with some new faces like Jadlam, E-models and GodHand. I hope it continues.
Laughs were had by all over the weekend which kicked off with vehicle collection followed by coordinating the assembly and loading of a minibus full of carefree giggling men-children off on a plastic fuelled frenzied weekend. Some of us missed out on this as there were too many of us for a minibus, so we made our way in the car. Not sure if this was a good thing or not! We did catch up with them on the road though at Woodhall services where traditional Burger Kings were had by many.
On the way we decided to stop off at the National Memorial Arboretum. We’ve been there several times on these trips and recently we’ve decided to lay a wreath on a memorial that means something to the club. This year we’d selected The Black Watch Regiment which had special meaning to Jack whose grandfather served in the regiment during the First World War. Unfortunately this regiment has been amalgamated into the Royal Regiment of Scotland, so it was decided to lay the wreath on this memorial. Jack gave a brief description of why this memorial had been chosen, the wreath was laid followed by a 2-minute silence. A fitting start to the weekend.
Following that it was off to the greatest plastic model show on earth. Once we arrived there it was the usual organised chaos that us old hands took in our stride. The Telford virgins though had a look of sheer bewilderment on their faces. Once inside they soon settled down and got stuck into the set-up procedure.
Some of us couldn’t get in on Friday due to insufficient wristbands, so we made our way to the digs, one of Travelodge’s finest establishments, got checked in and made our way to the bar to await the rest. Pete though decided to greet his roommates in a special way that can only be described as “Inflagrante with pink undies.” Thankfully there is no photographic evidence, other than the video of Jack and Andy’s astonished faces.
Once we were all assembled it was off to go eat, which pleased Andy and his tapeworm. It was here that Pete “Dunhelm” Mills decided to treat us to an exhibition of the new range of menswear designed by Dunhelm in conjunction with fashion giants Gucci, marketed under the label Gucchelm. Dunhelm must have decided to use some leftover sofa material for these garments as the resulting shirt was described as plush and stain resistant according to Pete. Not sure this will catch on.
Saturday morning arrived and everyone was up bright-eyed and bushy tailed ready for the show. Everyone that is except Marty, who’d allowed his long-time buddy Mark to consume too much alcohol the night before resulting in what can only be described as an evening listening to a Vietnamese Pot-Bellied Pig spending the night rooting on the forest floor. I know, I heard the sound file. Even Gav commented that his noise cancelling headphones were completely ineffective against the audio onslaught from Mark’s bed. Needless to say Marty wasn’t very happy with his buddy but thankfully they had kissed and made up by the evening.
Off to the show and those that couldn’t get in early went via Weatherspoons for breakfast. Suitably fed it was off to join the queue. It was at this point that I mysteriously took a turn for the worse with a case of shivering and feeling decidedly unpleasant (WTF – Weatherspoons Toast Fever – Ed). I thought I might “warm up” once inside but this didn’t happen and spent the morning huddled in a shivering heap with everyone commenting that I looked like “death warmed up!” Once the 2 minutes silence was over, I did the important things like collect my Hannants order and then Chris took me back to the digs where I spent the afternoon either dozing or watching Ice Age, Crocodile Dundee 2 and Jingle all the way. Chris kept an eye on me in between getting his car noise sorted out by a friendly nearby garage and bringing me lunch. He’s a good egg really for missing an entire day of the show to look after his poor old dad. Thankfully I was improved enough later on to take part in the evening food and frivolities.
Saturday night it was back to the pub for some grub which was just as good as the first night. Patrick decided that before retiring he was going to have a nightcap or two of Baileys, just to get the stink of a week of fishing out of his throat. However, he was most put out when there wasn’t any ice to be had behind the bar. Such a sophisticated little soul. He thought he’d found a way round this by convincing his new waitress friend to get some ice from the kitchen. He didn’t believe us when we explained that he’d end up with the scrapings out of the freezer. True to form that’s what he got, which considering it came from the fish section did nothing to remove the smell of fish, much to the disappointment of his roommates.
Back at the digs for the last night Davey and Patrick apparently watched in amazement as Trevor repositioned his bed so he could hook up his sleep apnoea machine. Once he had it hooked up and fitted, they decided he bore a striking resemblance to Bane from Batman. I feel the webmaster will be issuing a new website avatar in due course. What was even more hilarious was when, during the night, he reached over to turn off his alarm and ended up on the floor in a tangle of cables, tubes and camp bed. God, I wish there were photos.
Back to the show for the second day, and as Chris and I missed the first day we had a lot to catch up on. We spent the day cramming in as much as we could, making it back to the club display for the Remembrance Ceremony, which is always pretty poignant. Then it was back to trying to view everything we’d missed the day before. I think we managed it!
Once the show was finished at 4.00 it was pack up time which I’m fairly sure we managed to set a new world record. Us in the car were on the road by 4.30 and I’m fairly sure the van and minibus weren’t far behind us. The drive home was pretty awful as the rain seemed to worsen the closer we got to home. All made it home safely thankfully.
Another cracking weekend away with great friends at the best model show in the world. Great memories for all involved and a great bonding experience for the new guys to the club and Telford first timers. Unfortunately we had a poor turn out in the competition, not winning anything; and we didn’t win anything on the lottery either, but there’s always next year. On the plus side though Jack also got a new nickname of “Hagrid.” Davey made a new friend in the shape of a blue squid and birthday boy Martyn had a new boy band haircut. Looking forward to next year already when hopefully I won’t be struck down by a mysterious illness and can partake of Martyn’s birthday doughnuts.
